Tuesday, May 12, 2009


A city in Tennessee.

A place of chock full of memories where I thought my life began.

Tonight it was a song. Walkin in Memphis by Marc Cohn. Our first trip, the first place he told me he loved me. The first time I was ever scared by my feelings for someone. Tonight I hear that song and I am so consumed by memories it makes me tear up.

I tear up in a cab after flying to NYC, attending a meeting, dinner at Budakahn, drinks at Pastis...what a great life, right?

But all I can think of is what I have lost and how I would give anything to have him back. I know that is irrational, I know that at some point I will be able to look back and see it all happened for a reason but I am just not there yet. I just want the man that I love to come back to me and the life we planned.

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