Random Thoughts/Musings on Life, Love and My Face

This post is going to be a bit random but it seems that I have spent more time taking pictures than writing as of late. Partially because I am editing myself and what I share about happenings with B and partially because I am just at that typical blogger impasse where I wonder if it even matters. Does anyone even care? If they do, why?

Moving on...bare in mind I am bit grumpy and the following is my opinion and mine only.

I blame TV.

I was talking with a friend recently who is going through her own breakup. After two years and much strain she put an end to the relationship. She and I were talking about the demise and how we try and focus on the good memories. She said maybe if she waited he would change, after all Big did for Carrie. I said that was the problem with TV/movies. They all leave us believing that people will change. That we will get a Hollywood ending. When really we should listen to what they tell us. Typically guys don't lie, we just don't listen when they don't say what we want to hear. The bad boy doesn't really change to good. The boy who broke your heart doesn't turn around and apologize because he realized he couldn't live without you.

Newsflash. That isn't life.

I think I hold onto relationships long after I should because I fear failing. I hate failing at anything. I am just sure that if I try hard enough, work hard enough they will work out. I stay because I believe. I believe because I want my happy ending. I want someone to curl up with, legs slipped over his lap while I hear about his day and telling him about mine. The hug when I come through the door, someone to welcome me home.

But maybe that isn't in the cards for me. At least its not my reality right now.

I'm sick of being involved. I'm sick of being reminded how much I laughed, smiled and plain got butterflies over every and any interaction. I miss him on a daily basis but I can't let it consume me. I have to stay away. He has. So that tells me that part of what I thought was there is not. And yes, that is what I asked for. It is what I say I want. So can I blame him for giving it to me?

But really what I want is change. The change that should have happened a year and a half ago. The one that has been discussed so many times but never happened. Because it never will. Not for me.

But unlike with MX I will not regret something that once made me smile.

No Strings Attached would have gotten it right if only they hadn't ended up together in the end. In real life, she would not have reciprocated his feelings. She would have said no. She would have broken his heart.

Stepping off soapbox now. Rant complete.

I'm headed to Vegas in 8 days. That means time by the pool, sun and fun. Sunglass Hut gift cards via my Discover Cashback bonus, are en route to replace the Ray Ban's lost in fun. Something to look forward to...Maybe I will win a little money and acquire the jeans I covet all mentioned in the prior post. They are all I have left on that list!

In other news...my favorite new things is my Olay ProX. I am terrible with my skin. I love to tan both in beds and in the sun. I don't wear sunscreen, I simply worship at the alter of bronzed skin. I get facials a couple times per year but lets face it. I am getting older. For $30 I jumped on it. I used it for the first time today and my skin already feels better. Double bonus that it was super relaxing. I will keep you posted on my love as time progresses but I think this is one relationship built for the long haul.

Day 22: A Movie Date

Typical day...
Work
Workout
Work more
(Catching on that I'm working out over my lunch hour?)
Clean my house
Call from my sister - want to see a movie?
Finish cleaning house
Mad dash to our new and improved Target (the mecca)
Lincoln Lawyer. So good. Go see it. Now!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Book Reviews

Continuing my work towards 30 books in my 30th year...

Shopaholic and Baby by Sophie Kinsella

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


I'm not sure if it's the fact that I am older and hopefully somewhat wiser but in reading this book I was annoyed by the books heroine. Grow up. You are having a child. You must show some maturity at some point. However, I will finish out the series because once I start something I must finish it.



View all my reviews



Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I absolutely loved this book. Love may be an understatement. It has a bit of a Notebook vibe to it but the story is as much about his love for her as his passion in animals. I was first interested because of the trailer for the upcoming film starring Reece Witherspoon. I do hope the film does the book justice.



View all my reviews

I would love suggestions on books you have read and enjoyed. Please share!

Some Random Thoughts

Silence broken. By me. I was reminded that it is a two way street.

In other news while traveling to LA for work this week I had time to kill between a meeting and a dinner I had to attend. I went to see No Strings Attached. While the ending is a total cliche I couldn't help but love this line:

That is a terrible self destructive plan and we are behind you 100%.

As I have talked about ad nauseum 99% of the time I am content being alone. Then there are times that I hate it. For instance, waking up alone on Christmas? Not fun. The prospect of waking up alone on my 30th? I could do without. But I read this article and was reminded once again why being single is great.

I do not need anyone in my life to complete me. I make my life whole.
The LA trip also meant that I finished my first book of 2011. Since I am turning 30 this year I am setting a goal to read 30 books.

The Girl Who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson


My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Excellent book. Much more engaging than the first in the series. I am excited to read the third.




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Up in the Air

I went to see Clooney's latest film, Up in the Air, today.

It was quintessential Clooney. Lots of self deprecating humor.

It was incredibly depressing.

I LOVED it.

Maybe because I travel a lot? Maybe because I am apprehensive about being in a relationship again. Maybe because I don't seem to make smart decisions when it comes to guys...

Maybe because his desire to remain free of attachments resonates with this new me.

Maybe because I was once the overeager, life will go exactly my way because I planned it that way, 23 year old who tries to revolutionize their business practices.

But this exchange? It might just be one of the best in recent history.

Natalie Keener: Hungry much?
Ryan Bingham: Our business expense allots forty dollars each for dinner. I plan on grabbing as many miles as I can.
Natalie Keener: Okay, you got to fill me in on the miles thing. What is that about? You're talking about, like, frequent flyer miles?
Ryan Bingham: You really want to know?
Natalie Keener: I'm dying to know.
Ryan Bingham: I don't spend a nickel, if I can help it, unless it somehow profits my mileage account.
Natalie Keener: So, what are you saving up for? Hawaii? South of France?
Ryan Bingham: It's not like that. The miles are the goal.
Natalie Keener: That's it? You're saving just to save?
Ryan Bingham: Let's just say that I have a number in mind and I haven't hit it yet.
Natalie Keener: That's a little abstract. What's the target?
Ryan Bingham: I'd rather not...
Natalie Keener: Is it a secret target?
Ryan Bingham: It's ten million miles.
Natalie Keener: Okay. Isn't ten million just a number?
Ryan Bingham: Pi's just a number.
Natalie Keener: Well, we all need a hobby. No, I- I- I don't mean to belittle your collection. I get it. It sounds cool.
Ryan Bingham: I'd be the seventh person to do it. More people have walked on the moon. Natalie Keener: Do they throw you a parade?
Ryan Bingham: You get lifetime executive status. You get to meet the chief pilot, Maynard Finch.
Natalie Keener: Wow.
Ryan Bingham: And they put your name on the side of a plane.
Natalie Keener: Men get such hardons from putting their names on things. You guys don't grow up. It's like you need to pee on everything.


Seriously. Such a boy thing to have a desire to pee on everything. Even if they choose not to go...they still want you to not do the things you have talked about.

F that.