I don't want to be alone.
I don't want to be a statistic.
I didn't plan for this and I am not entirely comfortable with this.
In fact, I don't want this at all. I would do anything to salvage my marriage. To have my husband come back. The man I saw a glimpse of this morning.
I stayed home from work because I wasn't feeling well. He came by to pick something up and realized I was ill. His voice was softer and he offered to run get me anything I needed from the store. I wanted to tell him the only thing I needed was him.
But I didn't.
I knew it wouldn't help. I knew it wouldn't make a difference.
But its so painful to get a glimpse of him, to hear him...it just makes me want our life back.
Everyday it gets harder to remember the good. To remember how it felt to have his arms around me or to even have him in the house. Sometimes it feels like it must not have ever been there...