Change

You text me and tell me you are home & mowing.
I wonder whose home? Ours? Do we have a home? Or do we have a house?

We meet to get a form notarized. The notary has no book. You say "this was such a bad idea."
I think "yes, you having an affair was a very bad idea."

You wordlessly walk into the house, collect your things and out again.
I wonder how our lives came to be this way?

You call.
I cringe.

You text.
I cringe.

Most of all I wonder if I ever knew you. Or were the last few years a dream? Did you ever really exist the way I remember? Why do I feel like I am trapped in a nightmare I can't wake up from?