Thursday, December 30, 2010

Remember When?

Remember when I said I shouldn't be shocked?

Remember when I poured my heart into a letter about why my marriage was real?

Today I received a letter saying that they had completed the first phase. That they found in the affirmative regarding the invalidity of my marriage. It will now go to a review board.

He will get his annulment. It will be as though, in the eyes of the Church, our marriage never happened.

I shouldn't be shocked.

I am not.

I am.

I might be a little shell shocked.

It is what it is. I will not worry about the things I cannot change.

F it.

I am shocked.

I am done.



  1. Only you will ever know how real your marriage is or what it was or was not. This is particularly shitty no matter what. And I am sending you happy thoughts as you enter a new and better year. xoxo

  2. This makes me feel a bit ill and definitely shocked. Why does it always seem like the bad person has all the power? This isn't fair at all. I'm so sorry...

  3. UGH!!! This is so frustrating! I wish in cases like this, they'd go back to the priest who performed the ceremony and revoke any honorarium he was paid or dock his paycheck - same goes for the organist, et all... because we all know that while the "sacraments" cannot be bought, they can be influenced by cash! UGH! Just remember, God knows what he did, God was witness to your marriage and his choice to cheat.... the Church is not God and no matter what the Church says... God still knows... and frankly that should haunt him the rest of his life. Because adultery was committed against YOU, in God's eyes, you are the one who is scot-free here.... not him! Only repentance will set him free...and since he doesn't seem to think he did anything wrong, I'm guessing that's not happening!

    Ok, done being "church lady!" Wishing you a blessed 2011! Thanks for your candor and determination.... I turn 40 in 30 days and am facing a divorce.... literally starting over... just a lot older than you! You are truly inspirational! Keep it up!

  4. Wow, seriously? Anulment?I am shocked but all I can say is cheers to 2011, a year that is going to bode well for all of us!

  5. Wow, seriously, I'm with Tiffany, why do the bad guys always win?

    In this case, it is frustrating that you as the good person will once again have to rise above his bad behavior and come to terms with the unfair treatment. At least know, that out here, we support you. You have 10 times the integrity of your ex, and he's sketchy for even seeking to "nullify" your marriage. But deep down, he knows that it was real and no church decree can change that. Meanwhile, you can hold your head high while he should be ashamed.

  6. He can run but he can't hide. You are real. Your marriage was real. Your heartbreak is real. His spinelessness is real. He can try all he wants to claim none of it is or ever was real, but everyone knows it happened, everyone can see him for who he is. Stay strong and be thankful that you are much better off.

  7. the real truth is once a cheater always a cheater - he'll divorce this one too - count on it.

  8. i just found your blog and all i can say is WOW. how can this even happen? i read the background links and am in shock. whatever happens, i hope it's not dragged on and on for you and that you'll be able to put it behind you for good.