Tuesday, October 5, 2010

All About Me

I hate that a few interactions with MX immediately reverts me into this pathetic whiny person.

The person that wonders if this is all I have to expect from life in the future? Am I always going to be alone from here on out? Am I forever going to be "tagalong?" The one that either takes solo vacations or is the 3rd/5th/7th wheel on others trips?

Is that my life?

Or do I go and do the things I want?

Next summer, should I buy my own boat so I don't have to worry that someone will offer to take me on theirs?

Buying the horse is a no brainer, it will be mine.

But will that level of independence scare potentials off?

Do I care if it does?

The truth is that it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that I am happy and the only one that can make me happy is...ME.


  1. I think the men worth dating, the kind someone like you and I would find attractive, find independence attractive. Don't worry about your independence scaring someone off, insecure men get scared off. I am 100% behind the idea of living your life in whatever way makes you happy while you are single, don't put your life on hold while you are single. There's no reason to wait for a man to do anything, if you want a boat, buy a boat, if you want a horse, buy a horse. Live your best life, that will attract the kind of person you want to share it with.

  2. I've struggled with this too, being single for a LONG time and being the tagalong all the time while friends get married. But I find a balance, I do what I want and hang with my married friends. IN the end, I need to make myself happy and let the guy be the icing on the cake.

  3. Prospective Suitor to his Friend: "dude, i met this babe who has her own boat!"
    Friend: "aren't you intimidated by that level of independence, dude?"
    Suitor: "no way, dude, that just means she's a cool chick and she goes after what she wants."
    Friend: "dude, if you tell me she has her own horse AND her own boat, i'm going to ask her out myself!"
    Suitor: "take a number, dude!"

    just don't name the boat "Man-Eater" or anything like that.

  4. Girl, I've been there. I also started a blog on this very thing, in fact (though I wasn't married but living with someone I had dated for six years). The process of starting over is difficult, tumultuous, and daunting. But I wouldn't trade this feeling in the world for anything. When you finally let go of the pieces of him and what that relationship meant to you, you'll remember the girl you were before he stepped into your life and you'll reconnect with the things you used to love doing. Life will hold so much more meaning for you. I know it all sounds silly and cliche... but this is really only the beginning. And you are so very young. I wish you the best of luck in the road ahead and will continue to follow your journey to happiness :)