Friday, April 24, 2009

When?

I wonder when about a lot of things.

I wonder when:
  • I am going to feel whole again.
  • I will get through a day without crying.
  • I will ever stop loving you.
  • I can start hating you so that I can just stop wishing you would come home.
  • I am going to stop hating myself for not knowing you were unhappy.
  • I am going to stop regretting the fact that I accepted "work stress" as your reason for being distant.
  • I am going to stop wanting children. Children I never knew I would want until we were at a breaking point.
  • I am going to stop wondering why I am not enough for you anymore.
  • I can tell people we are getting divorced without crying.
  • I can answer a simple question like "How are you doing?" without crying.
  • I can stop being afraid to go out in public because I might see you or her or you with her.
  • I will stop missing you.
  • I will stop hoping we are one of those divorced and reunited stories.

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