Sunday, April 19, 2009

What I Miss

Right now the thing that I miss the most is the feeling of my husbands arms around me. When he held me, even after I found out about the affair, it was the the safest place in the world. I never felt pain when his arms held me close.

Knowing that I am not going to feel that again is so painful.
It makes me scared that I am never going to feel whole again.
That the emptiness I feel now is going to be with me forever.

I am afraid of the person I am becoming. Closed off, reserved...a shell of what I once was.

I am scared to go to Target, out to dinner, anywhere in public makes me nervous. What if I see him? What if I see him with her? What if I run into his family?

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