I have made small steps.
I finally have Direct TV. Like a normal person I can watch my favorite shows. My trashy TV. My guilty pleasures.
I still don't have internet at an acceptable speed. An speed acceptable to my soon to be permenant employer.
But I don't have B. I don't have that person that I turned to when my life turned into a comedy of errors. When things would go awry. When something made me laugh.
No one else quite gets that. I am sure someone...someday...will. Its just that, of all the people in my life today...right now...he is the only one that would.
And he isn't there.
Because of me.
But he has only been there for a year...why does it matter that he isn't there now?