MS2BX came over tonight to mow. I didn't know he was coming.
Rather that stew and fret about the fact he was outside I did something way more productive; I laced up my sneakers and went for a run. It wasn't a very good run as I haven't been very consistent. Plus there was the immense amount of fun I had over the 4th. But it was a run.
Going for a run is a positive thing. Its good for me not only physically but mentally as well. It also signals that I am getting stronger. Before this past weekend I would have hid somewhere in the house and cried.
But I am not going to do that anymore. I am going to focus on all the things I can do now.
It doesn't mean that I love him any less or that it doesn't still hurt and in someways if I could change everything I would...but it does mean that I have accepted it.
I know my life has changed.
What lies ahead is what I can make of it.
I will never again be in a relationship that doesn't love all parts of me; the girl from the acreage who is fine with cleaning stalls or meeting multi million dollar quotas. You can't compartmentalize yourself forever and I won't do it again.