Thursday, June 23, 2011

Don't Call it a Comeback

Two posts in two days does not a comeback make.

I appreciate everyone who shared their thoughts, well wishes and tales of commiseration.

I know I am not on this path alone and for that I am thankful.

I just can't help but be a bit envious of some. One girlfriend was barely single a day. Had many guys throwing themselves at her and one ended up being, at least for now, the one.

Two other friends who divorced just prior to me; remarried.

Another friend, so busy on trips to visit boys who fly her out to see them.

And yet, I can't find one.

I love the life I have. I am not curled in a ball crying about my poor, poor pitiful life. I just actually want someone else with me to enjoy it.

I do love being able to eat what I want and when I want. That I don't have to run trip plans past anyone. That the only approval I have to seek is that of my own.

But still. I want that person. The one that I call when things go well. Or when they don't. A warm smile. Lazy Sundays curled up.

I also want B gone.

I also want B to never to leave.

So it makes things hard. Because being a walking contradiction is tiring.

I just want something. Someone quality.

Consider this a tale in what I don't want:

Last night a guy came up and tried to hit on me. His breath was so bad I literally jerked back in reaction to the smell. He later bought me a beer. And mind you this is after I played softball in the rain. I was a hot mess looking like a drowned rat. Standing outside the local watering hole his friends piped up to ask my two friends if I had a boyfriend. The one knew I would not be interested and said that I did. The other, not catching on, says no. The boys say which is it. I shrug to which the original pursuer says - Guess she was just after a free drink.

No. Actually I wasn't. You sought me out. I declined. You bought me a beer anyway and kept trying.

Not what I want.

5 comments:

  1. I swear I have written this very post. So I can relate, but obviously I am sure you are also probably thinking 'yeah, but now you have M." That I do, and I appreciate every day that I do, but I guess my only point is, I know. I really do, and I am hopeful that your Mr comes your way soon. You deserve it.

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  2. My friends/family are the same. Remarried, in new relationships, some of them only single for, like four months, and they think that was a hardship...

    Blah! LOL, your "B" sounds like my "ML" who I have been missing ALOT lately. But he and I stopped talking and stuck to it, so I guess that makes it a little different, but seeing as he isn't single it was for the best.

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  3. P.S. You are very pretty and obviously in shape (which goes without saying) and smart, independent and successful so I am going to throw out a crazy theory that maybe some nice guys are intimidated by you? Because these old/gross dudes approaching you are obviously bold, delusional, and a little left of sane to think that you would give them the time of day.

    Again, I have no idea what your town is like, what kind of selection there is, the demographic of your local watering holes, but it's a theory.

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  4. I hope it is a comeback. I've missed you!

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  5. I've missed you too! And I agree with Marisa that you seem to have some amazing qualities that might intimidate guys.

    It's better to be single than with the wrong guy.

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