Thursday, June 23, 2011

Don't Call it a Comeback

Two posts in two days does not a comeback make.

I appreciate everyone who shared their thoughts, well wishes and tales of commiseration.

I know I am not on this path alone and for that I am thankful.

I just can't help but be a bit envious of some. One girlfriend was barely single a day. Had many guys throwing themselves at her and one ended up being, at least for now, the one.

Two other friends who divorced just prior to me; remarried.

Another friend, so busy on trips to visit boys who fly her out to see them.

And yet, I can't find one.

I love the life I have. I am not curled in a ball crying about my poor, poor pitiful life. I just actually want someone else with me to enjoy it.

I do love being able to eat what I want and when I want. That I don't have to run trip plans past anyone. That the only approval I have to seek is that of my own.

But still. I want that person. The one that I call when things go well. Or when they don't. A warm smile. Lazy Sundays curled up.

I also want B gone.

I also want B to never to leave.

So it makes things hard. Because being a walking contradiction is tiring.

I just want something. Someone quality.

Consider this a tale in what I don't want:

Last night a guy came up and tried to hit on me. His breath was so bad I literally jerked back in reaction to the smell. He later bought me a beer. And mind you this is after I played softball in the rain. I was a hot mess looking like a drowned rat. Standing outside the local watering hole his friends piped up to ask my two friends if I had a boyfriend. The one knew I would not be interested and said that I did. The other, not catching on, says no. The boys say which is it. I shrug to which the original pursuer says - Guess she was just after a free drink.

No. Actually I wasn't. You sought me out. I declined. You bought me a beer anyway and kept trying.

Not what I want.


  1. I swear I have written this very post. So I can relate, but obviously I am sure you are also probably thinking 'yeah, but now you have M." That I do, and I appreciate every day that I do, but I guess my only point is, I know. I really do, and I am hopeful that your Mr comes your way soon. You deserve it.

  2. My friends/family are the same. Remarried, in new relationships, some of them only single for, like four months, and they think that was a hardship...

    Blah! LOL, your "B" sounds like my "ML" who I have been missing ALOT lately. But he and I stopped talking and stuck to it, so I guess that makes it a little different, but seeing as he isn't single it was for the best.

  3. P.S. You are very pretty and obviously in shape (which goes without saying) and smart, independent and successful so I am going to throw out a crazy theory that maybe some nice guys are intimidated by you? Because these old/gross dudes approaching you are obviously bold, delusional, and a little left of sane to think that you would give them the time of day.

    Again, I have no idea what your town is like, what kind of selection there is, the demographic of your local watering holes, but it's a theory.

  4. I hope it is a comeback. I've missed you!

  5. I've missed you too! And I agree with Marisa that you seem to have some amazing qualities that might intimidate guys.

    It's better to be single than with the wrong guy.