Wednesday, June 22, 2011


I haven't written in a while and honestly just thought that I wouldn't again.

I felt my time here had been served. There is nothing new to tell.

In truth, I feel stuck.

Stuck in the fact that I have not managed to formally move on in the sense of a new relationship. I'm still here. Still single. Still no one interested in me.

Yes, I make it difficult. I have a tendency to be closed off, unapproachable at times.

A defense mechanism at its best.

But it's within reason. People I am not and will not ever be interested in. Men aged 50+. Those acting like total jack@$$es and thinking their "hit on" techniques are cute.

I don't want that.

I want something specific.

But recently I have been trying to make peace with the fact that this may be it.

Perhaps my purpose going forward is to be alone.

And that isn't what I want.

I want someone. I don't want to have to do everything alone all the time.

I think about things, doing things, buying things and I wish that I had a someone to do them with.

I don't want to be the girl who is always doing it on her own.

Can I?


But that isn't the life I want to live.

But here I am...Two years plus of being single. Alone.


  1. Hi, good to hear from you.

    In the same exact boat over here. I even deleted the blog for almost a week only to put it back yesterday.

    I wish I had words of wisdom and advice. Instead I can tell you that I commiserate.

    I do everything on my own, and yes, I can continue to do that but I don't want to.

    I may soon give up the blog as I am blogging as myself about books/writing. Feel free to stop in and visit me there or shoot me an email if you ever want to talk at !!!!

  2. I am so glad you are back too! And to both of you - first, wow, you two seem to be on the same wavelength lately huh? And second, I hope you don't stop blogging (either of you!) and third, I think what you want and deserve is out there ,and I just wish for your sake it was sooner. Being on my own for two years was tough, I obviously understand, but maybe that's the magic number? two's to hoping ladies. XO.

  3. Friend...this was just the post I needed. I'm definitely having a lonely night and wondering if I'll ever meet a good man. I'm so tired of doing everything on my own. It's been about a year and a half, with dating loads of substandard men and one guy who got my hopes up, only to dash them. I'm tired of feeling hopeless and I'm tired of feeling alone. So while I'm sad you're feeling a similar way, I find comfort in knowing there are other awesome women out there who are going thru the same thing.

  4. I have definitely had these thoughts before. I recall, after not having sex for a year, thinking "was the last time I had sex the LAST time I'll have sex?" I just convinced myself that the chances of me NEVER finding someone again were pretty slim, I'd find someone eventually, so rather than worry about it I just got on living my life and trying to make every day by myself the best day it could be. Take advantage of the fact that there is no one there to judge you when you have cereal for dinner or when you don't change out of your pajamas for an entire weekend. Cherish this time to do anything you want anytime you want on your own terms, because it'll be over before you know it. I promise you that you'll find someone to share your life with, so don't spend this time worrying that you won't, spend it enjoying what you'll miss when you meet him.

  5. Been there, done that. Actually still doing that, and have been for a long time. Hearing everyone tell you could meet Mr. Right tomorrow gets annoying. Loneliness sucks. Plain and simple. And it's hard not to question yourself and everything you believe in. But I guess we just do the best we can do. Sometimes wine helps. Sometimes crying helps. Sometimes being with friends help. But there are too many times when nothing helps. And in those moments, you just have to keep breathing and hope it will get better tomorrow. Hugs to you :)

  6. Glad you're back (and alive!). Please don't stop blogging. It helps those of us in the same boat. It really does.