Never Thought I'd Want to be 30

Last night I went with my fabulous friend AMS to dinner at Bristol and then we were off to watch a little bull riding.

So fun. I had a blast. I am not sure if it were more fun watching the bull riding or AMS expressions.

Afterwards there was a free concert with Gretchen Wilson.

I think by now you realize I kinda like concerts.

So we decided to have a drink and watch the concert.

When we were turned away.

Because we were under 30 and they didn't have time to check IDs.

Seriously.

Oh well, we promptly returned to the lodge to drink cold beer and listen to another free concert. The one from my iTouch.

Glamour

Glamour is one of my favorite magazines.

It tends to have good information on beauty, fashion and relationships.

This month they have a variety of covers available (3 covers per magazine and 3 variations or 9 total covers). I received the Amanda Seyfried (Big Love, Mama Mia, Dear John) cover in the silver dress.

When you flip in you see samples of the other covers.

That is when I stopped.

Zoe Saldana (Avatar, Star Trek).

She is quoted as saying - "I want to have more sex, travel more, drink more wine and love life."

Well substitute beer for wine and we may have the same 2010 mantra Ms. Saldana.

Oh Friday

I always have the most amazing Friday's. I don't know what it is about this day that makes me such a homebody.

In truth, I would rather go out on Friday, recover Saturday and rest on Sunday but it never ends up that way.

So tonight's highlight? A Target grocery run, Blackberry Messenger with B, Bud Select and Big Love.

But tomorrow....I'm going to something I asked to do with MX for years. Just more proof that there is life after divorce.

Thank you to my wonderful from AMS for going with even though she has no idea what she is in for!

My Ideal Man

I've been thinking about what it is that I want in a man, you know, aside from the obvious...faithfulness.


I wrote about it here but I want to put together the full wish list.

So...my ideal man:

• drives a truck
• eats his steak medium rare
• can ride a horse
• can fix things
• can cook, especially grill
• owns a gun
• loves dogs
• likes cats
• holds me as if tomorrow won't come
• likes to be outdoors
• looks me in the eye
• republican
• believes in God, but doesn't force his beliefs on anyone
• loves the beach
• likes the mountains
• believes in me
• isn't intimidated by me
• works hard
• is truthful
• calls because he said he would
• calls for no reason at all
• loves my family
• makes me laugh
• makes me smile
• makes me feel like I am the only one in the room, even when its crowded

I could probably keep going but this is what I am now...

Online Dating

Online dating has been a hot topic lately.

I have friends that found their spouse on match.com, a friend who just enrolled there and another whose on eHarmony. I read blogged adventures detailing the people they've met and the tales along the way.

I love hearing about their adventures.

But I don't think it is for me. At least not right now.

I don't think I am above it. Its just not for me right now. For several reasons.

Right now I just don't want a relationship that bad to take the time to review matches, read profiles and go on dates.

I also don't want to feel as though I forced something.

I don't want to start something somewhere I don't plan to be.

If it happens organically I am all for it.

But I am not going for it.

And there is B.

I know that having him in my life keeps me from having open eyes.

Even if I can't have more with him now, even if we are just to be friends. I don't have a chance to be lonely because he's there, regardless of if its not as much as I want it to be. It keeps me from moving on. Because there is still a possibility.

I know it.

He knows it.

Banner Day

1. I passed out at work
2. My boss told me he knows I am looking for new jobs in my home state and he's not happy.

So the passing out thing. Really not that big of a deal. My friend JMB took the bandage off from where the Implanon was implanted and I was fine. There are 2 tiny scabs...tiny.
Not a big deal at all.
About a minute later I was down. I went straight forward into my desk, head landing on my notebook.
Its not a big deal because I do this all the time. I have long had a fainting problem that doctors can't diagnose. There is no rhyme or reason to it. I have passed out in class during college, on dates, at home watching TV and now at work.
Joy.
Fast forward to this afternoon. My boss tells me to come in.
Tells me he has learned that I am looking for a job in IA. That he isn't happy that I didn't tell him. Thought we had a better relationship then that.
I didn't tell him because I knew that would be the reaction I would receive. I didn't want to be treated differently. If he didn't know this far into my search because it wasn't affecting my performance then it shouldn't matter.
I said nothing. I didn't know what to say. When pressed I said, yes, I am looking but have made no final decisions yet.
At this point I am not sure what to say, do.

Maintenance

I don't want children.

This was the crutch MX used as his rationale for starting an affair. Although we had agreed children were not in our future, he changed his mind.

But for me this hasn't changed.

As a single girl, whose not in a relationship the truth is...taking birth control everyday or weekly via a patch is depressing. Its a constant reminder that its not necessary.

So today I went in for the 3 year fix. And while its a little sore Implanon means I don't have to think about it for 3 years.

Fabulous.

But it could be affecting my brain a bit...today I actually looked at an application to be on the Bachelor.