Tuesday, May 25, 2010
The Success Principles(TM): How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Jack Canfield
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
It took me a long time to finish this book yet that isn't an accurate reflection of the content. The book is realistic, inspiring and encouraging. I am just not drawn back to self help type books like I am with fiction.
But I found my fix. I got the book on audio from the library and on one of my many drives home I listened. I loved it. I wanted more. I am going to load it into iTunes and I am sure I will listen many more times.
View all my reviews >>
Monday, May 24, 2010
Psychic = triumphant over me
After many attempts my friends finally convinced me to go see a psychic.
And I am a skeptic.
I don't buy it. I don't believe in things that are not based on proven theories and tested fact.
But I went.
She started out slow. That there was something heavy weighing on my heart. That it was tied to a past relationship. It ran parallel with my mother.
Hm. Perhaps the fact that my house isn't selling? The house I need to sell because MX and I split after he cheated? You mean the same scenario my parents had? That parallel with my mom?
She said the thing that I am working so hard towards, pushing for - I am right. Its where I am so supposed to be. I need to be there and I need to stick to everything I want when I get there.
That June 15th was a big day work related. Maybe the day I would sign the new contract for my new job or something with my present employment. She saw it more with present. You mean the day that there is a summit at work to determine the fate of my department?
The people that will buy my house have already looked at it. They are just trying to get everything arranged. So hopefully lease arrangement people will come back.
She said that it feels like there is a boy waiting for me when I move. That he is pacing back and forth while he waits. I said that I wasn't aware of anyone actively waiting.
His name starts with B.
I swear to God that she said his name starts with B.
That it had something to do with Brooke. Hm. I don't know. Maybe the fact that my B's ex wife is named Brooke?
She said that he seems to have crazy women in his past. That this may be a concern for me. That there may be a woman whose stalker like, lives with him and refuses to leave.
That we will talk about this at a table that sits low. It will be dark like night time. We will be outside. We will talk about all of this. He will be called away.
I said you are describing something that already happened a year ago. To a tee.
She kept going.
That he would be at a lake (all of this happened at the lake). That she sees the one being a B. It may not be this B. She isn't quite sure because she sees him as a brown haired boy (current B is blonde). But even if present B isn't future B, present B is probably the one waiting for me and future B can't come into my life until present B and I finish the unfinished stuff between us. She said there is a reason that present B is here and we aren't done yet. She said I needed to keep an eye on the girl who refuses to leave, she is unstable.
She said my father is a charming man. That people like him. That he could sell water to ice. We always say that if he isn't your father you would love my dad. That he can sell ice to Eskimos.
She said I can't stop my mom from doing the same thing over and over. That I can't make her take care of herself. I just have to accept that she wants to be discontent.
She said I am good with numbers and investments. That I will continue to see good returns especially with stock picks. And yes, this is a total passion for me.
She asked if I had a ghost in my house and I said no. But after I left I realized that I always say I feel as though I live with a ghost. The ghost lives behind the closet door. Where MX clothes are that he doesn't take with him to his new residence.
So I stepped out of my comfort zone. I set my inner skeptic aside and I got some interesting perspective.
This should have been on the 29 before 30 list.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Like a few weeks ago when I donned fleece lined yellow leather men's mittens that were a good 5 sizes too big - "its a wonder why I am single."
Or this weekend when a male friend rescued me from being hit on by a total d-bag - "with options like those I can't believe I haven't remarried."
Then he made the comment I have heard twice in the last week from platonic male friends - "for the life of me I can't figure out why you are."
He and my sister started discussing things I like, my nature, the parts I had picked up for my brother in law for the pickup he's restoring. Then he made a crack - "you're basically a guy in a chick's body."
And it made me think...is my beer drinking, poker playing, go with the flow mentality, who appreciates an afternoon spent watching NASCAR, understands how to bet on sports, quasi adrenaline junkie, who loves a dive bar and steak more than the idea of a romantic man...are all those things a bit intimidating?
My friend joked about the first time he met me. He told me a story of my brother in law jokingly using his truck to pin him, to which my response was - "and?" He said he knew then we would be friends but said I was just a bit intimidating.
But I won't change me. I want a guy that isn't afraid of me. One that sees the tough exterior and finds a way in anyway.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Today I crossed off item #28. I am the guest blogger on the fabulous rondamarie site. So go check it out here.
I will be busy doing the happy dance and she...well, she is probably doing Tequila shots at Tao by now.
I think the happy dance just stopped and envy set in.
Nah, still just thankful she helped me cross something off the list!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
When I set out to run 4 miles this morning I may have been a little overconfident in my abilities.
I may have forgotten that when one doesn’t run for 5 days, or 7 before that, that they lose strength.
All of that came back to me this morning.
But the key is that I got up and ran again this morning. I accomplished another goal.
I did 3.25 miles in 45 minutes (told you I was tired) and burned 321.7 calories. All before I got in the shower.
Now I am going to take 2 days off before I run again. Saturday’s run will be with my sister. When I go home for the weekend.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Dinner with MC was perfect. I love hearing about her preparations for the baby, work, married life, life in general.
I love seeing her excitement about my future. I love that she volunteers her husband to help me move. Her excitement and enthusiasm makes me feel like I am making the right decisions.
But at the same time, I will miss these dinners when the time comes. But I know we can replace them with weekend visits.
So far today I have woken up, brushed my teeth, let the dogs out, fed them, got their kennel water ready and ran a mile.
Yes, ladies and gentleman...I got up and ran.
Well, I did a run walk routine this morning but I feel good. (mile time 12:33)
I feel like I have accomplished something and its not even 7 a.m.
Tomorrow will be a bigger challenge as I need to do 4 miles and will have to get even earlier. I hate mornings.
But I can do it. I know I can.
Next challenge; eating healthier. I don't eat a lot but what I eat is super high in fat.
I love all things fried, made with heavy whipping creme and red meats. Basically anything the American Heart Association warns you against.
But small steps.
Monday, May 17, 2010
I talked to my sister today about my need to get up in the mornings for runs because my evenings are so packed. She suggested that I run when I get home from my evening activities and see if that is enough to get myself up and at it on subsequent mornings.
Shoot. I think the threat of that is enough to get me up and going!
I ran tonight when I got home from work. This is my only free evening this week.
My run, as expected, sucked.
That is what happens when you don't do something consistently.
I ran a full mile again but added 4 seconds.
12:10 first mile. 26 minutes at 2 miles.
But tomorrow, I will get up and run at least 1 mile before work.
Tomorrow will be the beginning of a new habit.
My early morning running habit.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
It started as a lazy morning and a blackberry message from B. Teasing me about beating me in an ongoing competition. We chatted on bbm and FB IM for the next hour. Which was officially making me behind schedule for my packed day.
I raced to make up time and get to my friends jewelry party. She makes the most amazing earrings.
The phone rings.
And I am anything but prepared. Add in running late and I am full on stressed.
I scramble, make it to the party and pick up new earrings and 2 dresses/swimsuit cover ups.
Go to my facial, which was nice but the facialist may very well be the spawn of Satan.
Now its time to get ready for LY's MBA grad party.
The biggest story from the night isn't mine to tell. I just have to hope that it works out. That she values herself enough to make herself a priority. To see that its toxic. To know she deserves better.
The story that is mine to tell is that I ran into MX's friends. Not just one. But all of them. At first it was awkward for me, they seemed thrilled to see me and it ended up being fun. I am glad that it happened. I am glad that its over with.
I am glad that I am not afraid to run into them again.
I talked to his best friend a lot. Afterwards he sent me a message on FB and reminded me that they all considered me a friend. That I shouldn't be a stranger. To let him know if I ever wanted to talk.
It was nice. It may very well be all gesture and not sincere. But its appreciated nonetheless.
Friday, May 14, 2010
But this Friday I did get out for a bit.
I went to see my fabulous friend. We can call her Silence.
Silence is due in 6 weeks with her second child. Her oldest, L, is the most darling little boy I have ever met. I cannot wait to meet her little girl.
I got to see the nursery as its coming together. We ate pizza. We talked about work. Life. Friends.
It was perfect end to a long week.
Now I am home by 9 and ready to curl up in my bed.
Because its Friday. And you just can't stay up late on a Friday.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Last night my youngest dog, Bella, threw up a couple times. I figured she had an upset stomach but brushed it off. She woke me up several times throughout the night for various issues but by morning she seemed to have shook it off. She ate a bit of food and drank some water.
To be safe I came home over lunch to check on her. And she was still throwing up.
I decided to take her to the vet. On the way there she threw up everywhere. I knew it was coming. I pulled over but she jumped in the drivers seat. She threw up there. I reached for her. She jumped to the passenger seat...and threw up there. I knew there was a reason I carried so many reusable totes with me.
No fever and the probing check did not indicate a foreign object in her belly and since she is keeping water down - she isn't dehydrated. Most likely viral or parasite.
So 2 injections, some meds and $102 later we headed home knowing that if she wasn't better by morning we would come back for X-rays and blood work.
I had to go back to work but was able to cancel my after work obligation. I decided to concentrate on the positive; this would give me a chance to run after work.
I hop on the treadmill.
I take off.
I run the full mile (no alternating running and walking) in a recent personal best of 12:06.
At 1.2 Bella's stomach issue kicks in again.
Scratch the running plan.
I'm vegging on the couch with one sick puppy.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
There are spring storms I hate.
The ones I love happen when the air is warm and it storms for an hour at most. Rain, wind and when its done, everything smells fresh. The kind where you sit on a porch and watch the storm roll in and then fade away.
The ones I hate? Those are the ones we have had recently. Its abnormally cold, strong winds, hail and goes on for hours upon hours. Or in our case...Days.
Its already a long week. Lots of things going on at work. Commitments after work. I don't need crappy weather to add to my already frustrated mood.
Just waiting for the weekend.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
I love having measurable goals. So I thought it might be good to give you an idea of where the list came from and what my progress has been towards it.
Take Dressage lessons- I grew up showing horses but this discipline has always intrigued me. You learn more about the horses movement and your ability to control the horse. Go to an Iowa Cubs game- I've been a Chicago Cubs game but never watched Iowa's farm team. Finish Success Principles- Every time I pick-up this book I love it. But it doesn't draw me back to it like a story book does. I want to finish it. Run 3 5ks- This is on the 2010 goals list and will keep me working out...always a positive!
- Get a 3rd tattoo - been debating this one for a while. If i put it on the list I will just have to get it done.
Read 25 books- again a goal for 2010. Reading keeps the mind active.
- Eat Jello Poke Cake - according to my friends this is good and they can't believe I haven't had it. I am all for trying to expand my limited food palate.
Take a vacation- I haven't been on a real vacation since November 2007 when I was still happily married. Perhaps I will follow in the footsteps of bayjb and take a solo trip. Move- I think anyone that reads this blog knows why this is on the list.
- Go to Harlings - according to a friends boyfriend this is a bar I would love in a city I have lived in for 17 years, yet have never tried.
Make out with a boy- hello! I am single. Isn't this what I am supposed to do? Also, please note; it doesn't have to be a new boy...it could be B. Go to the lake- it was at the lake last year that I finally realized I was okay. That I was going to be okay and that I was happy. So I want to go back knowing this and enjoy it all over again. I have already made plans to be there for Memorial Day & 4th of July. Get involved with an organization once I move- I'm involved now and want to make sure that I keep these activities up when I relocate.
- Take hunters safety - because I want to go deer hunting.
- Take a motorcycle safety course - I am never content being a passenger. If I am going to ride a Harley I want to learn how to operate one on my own.
- Go water skiing - I haven't water skied in 5 years. The last time was on my honeymoon in the ocean. Now I want to do it on my terms at the lake.
- Enter a cook off contest - just because. I make some pretty kick a$$ food. I want to see if I can win.
Try a new vegetable.I am a notoriously picky eater. Like bad. I love steak and potatoes. I like my food a certain way and preferably a certain brand. But this weekend I tried 2 new veggies; Brussels Sprouts and cabbage. And they weren't too bad. Take a cooking class- Even if I think I can be a pretty kick a$$ cook I can always improve. Join a bowling league- its fun. Its bowling. Its beer. What can be better? Find new employment- finding new employment gets me home.
- Ride my bicycle more often - when I was young this one of my most favorite things to do and I want to get back to as an adult. Its low impact cardio and perfect for the days I don't run.
- Ride a Harley - I think its the adrenaline rush that I am after. I just want to do this and I can't even explain why.
- Start my side business - because its a viable idea.
- Sew a dress - I can sew. I buy things that I could make for twice the cost. This is dumb.
Take my family out to supper- because they have done so much for me. The least I can do is grab the tab.
- Make a snow angel - it just seems like the perfect thing to do when you want to embrace what is left of your youth.
Be a guest blogger for someone- I love when the blogs I read have guest bloggers, that is often how I find new ones to read. I would love to be that person for someone else. You can check out my guest blog here.
- Make peace with turning 30 - whether I like it or not...it's going to happen.
You should always prepare for Memorial Day plans even when nothing is on the calendar. Because as soon as you think you will be home with your dogs you will find out you are lake bound and totally unprepared to be in a swimsuit.
And sometimes, like last night. You just need a night to veg. To curl up with your DVR, 2 dogs and a cat. Just enjoy doing nothing. Because sometimes, that is the best therapy for your soul.
Monday, May 10, 2010
I got into town around 9 p.m. on Friday. I met my sister and her husband for a drink, talked with some friends and tucked myself into bed around 11.
Before I fell asleep I tried to wrap things up with B once and for all. But Saturday came and we were within 5 feet of each other all day at the cook off. I told him that maybe I am never happy because this sucked. (how is that for eloquence?) He said he felt the same.
I struggle to be happy with just being friends. But I would rather have him as my friend than not in my life.
You know when you meet someone and its like they have always been there? They just seem to know what you want, to know how to make you laugh and to make you light up?
That's B. He's all those things.
He's caring and he's wonderful. He's just not mine.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
My sister challenged me to complete 29 (my current age) things before I turn 30 (ugh). They don't have to be big and they need to be able to reasonably happen in the next 9 months. They just have to be things I want to do. So here is my list:
- Take Dressage lessons
- Go to an Iowa Cubs game
- Finish Success Principles
- Run 3 5ks
- Get a 3rd tattoo
- Read 25 books
- Eat Jello Poke Cake
- Take a vacation
- Go to Harlings
- Make out with a boy
- Go to the lake
- Get involved with an organization once I move
- Take hunters safety
- Take a motorcycle safety course
- Go water skiing
- Enter a cook off contest
- Try a new vegetable
- Take a cooking class
- Join a bowling league
- Find new employment
- Ride my bicycle more often
- Ride a Harley
- Start my side business
- Sew a dress
- Take my family out to supper
- Make a snow angel
- Be a guest blogger for someone
- Make peace with turning 30
What would you like to do before your next birthday? What do you think I should do before 30 comes along?
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Especially living for the weekends where I get to go home.
Like tonight, everything I have done is for this weekend.
I went tanning, did laundry, unpacked so that I can repack, got my eyebrows waxed, made plans to meet up with my oldest friend...I am so ready to get there.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
First of all, I agreed on the next 5k I will run. On June 5th I will make my goal time.
That will be the second 5k of 2010 and I will potentially run the 3rd the following weekend. It would be amazing to have one goal for 2010 off the list in June!
Another sign of moving forward...today I made a large purchase. I bought a Dell Inspiron 1764 laptop. My home computer is 8 years old...a dinosaur really. But its also motivation. Motivation to start that small business idea I have had.
Wish me luck...I am off!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
It was such a fun time. I didn't want it to end.
Friday was watching a lil bull riding and then the piano bar.
Saturday was an early morning (5:45 a.m.) when I ran my first 5k of 2010 with some amazing friends and my sister and kind of sister. It took me 37 min and 45 seconds to finish. I didn't make my goal time but its something to keep aiming for. I was so proud of my sister, it was her first race and on the way home she was even looking up more races for us to do together.
From there the whole day felt like a race. My sister and I headed back north and went to Best Buy to look at laptops, Pancheros for lunch and then home to shower and change. Then it was time to head back south for one of my favorite events of the year. The Kentucky Derby!
We had fun betting on the horses and watching the race. More thrilling than actually having bet on the winner to win was the Iowa bred horse finishing 3rd. It was a great feeling and a fun atmosphere to witness.
After the race we were racing again, heading north to meet up with more family for an evening of drinks.
Today was a family bbq.
I can't wait until I am a full time participant in these activities. I am so glad to be headed home again this weekend.